Dateline 22/08/10

All things must pass

In a shock announcement this week, Nigel Mills, rhythm guitarist and founder of popular beat combo Bare Wires, revealed that he has left the band. The term 'musical differences' has become an over-used industry cliché, but is perfect to describe this particular situation. A growing divergence of opinion regarding the set list, came to a head last Saturday, when he was asked to consider learning a Beatles song. That was it - the final straw! Nigel has some ideas he wishes to develop and leaves with the best wishes of the rest of the group and with our thanks for all the gigs arranged in the past.

The search is now on for a singing guitarist with keyboard and harmonica skills. Choreography desirable, but not essential. If you fit the bill and these recently purchased, hardly used, leather trousers, send us a message:

Dateline 14/07/10

Seer Suckers

So, another World Cup Final is over. The thrills, the spills, the tears and the anguish (of an England press conference) are behind us and we can look forward to more of the same, the next time England turn up for a kick about. Luckily, there are other good reasons to go down the pub, such as watching Bare Wires! Yes, the lads have already entered pre season training and as we speak, are stretching hamstrings and rubbing in the horse linament, ready for the next set of gruelling away fixtures.

Talking of away legs, new this season will be the use of Paul the Psychic Octopus. Your favourite cephalopod will choosing the set list in future, as long as the supply of mussels can be maintained.

Dateline 06/06/10

Musicians On A Cloud

After weeks of fascinating insights into the fabulous world of Rock 'n Roll, the BBC2 series 'I'm In A Rock 'n Roll Band' reached a deafening crescendo on Saturday 5th June. Led Zeppelin were voted the best band (controversially ahead of the Beatles, in my view) along with Jimi Hendrix, Freddie Mercury and John Bonham in their separate categories. Now the more observant amongst you, may have noticed that all of these rock gods are no longer with us. The moral of the story is clear - go down the pub and see a band who are still going. Bare Wires appear at the Monument in Newbury on Saturday 12th June, right after the football.

PS Flea was deemed best bassist, due to the fact he can jump higher than Paul McCartney. Check out:

I'm in a Rock'n'Roll Band

Dateline 20/04/10

Musicians Under A Cloud

Bare Wires lead guitarist, singer and heartthrob, Jonathon Brothers, just texted in with an unusual predicament – he’s stuck in Lanzarote. That would be unusual enough, but the reason he’s stuck there is because of a volcano in Iceland pouring out dangerous ash, which has grounded all of Europe’s aircraft. Even more unusual than that, is the name of the place where the volcano is - Eyjafjallajokull. You couldn’t make it up could you? Well I think they did make that name up, just for a laugh!
Jonathon’s main worry is that after a couple of weeks away, he’s going to run out of pants. “I’d go commando, but there’s a hell of a wind that nips in round here at night!” They say it’s an ill wind that blows nobody any good – the share price of San Miguel has risen rapidly in the last two days.
In a late and desperate attempt to change the general view that he is neither use nor ornament, Gordon Brown (PM) has ordered the Royal Navy round to Santander to pick up stranded Brits. Asked to comment about going home on one of Her Majesty’s battleships, Jonathon replied “Frigate! Not a battleship.” His rum ration has now been withdrawn.
Also affected by the flying ban, is one of the world’s legendary drummers. Ian Sheldon was unable to play with legendary drummer Steve Gadd at the Hexagon in Reading last night, because the American is stuck the other side of the Atlantic. Just be patient Steve, it’ll be sorted out soon.

Eyjafjallajokull. Yeah, that one.

Dateline 01/04/10

Bare Wires To Re-Form

As the music industry rumour machine reaches a crescendo, your favourite website can now exclusively reveal that Bare Wires are to re-form! A spokesperson for the band said “The time is right. What with the vibrant live music scene at the moment and increased interest in the group’s back catalogue, they have decided to get back to what they do best – rock out!”
For tax and legal reasons the band will not be performing during April, but will return triumphantly to Andover on May 15th when they play the Station Hotel.

Just In…

The world’s biggest experiment, the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) set a record for high-energy collisions on Tuesday by crashing proton beams into each other at three times more force than ever before. The experiment attempts to decode the deepest mysteries of the universe and understand Big Bang, Higgs particle, and Dark Matter. By colliding protons at 7TeV, the machine is now at least three times more energetic than the US Tevatron collider near Chicago. Cern managers announced that as a precaution although the machine was designed to collide beams of protons with a combined energy of 14 trillion electron volts (TeV), the collider would operate at only half this energy until Bare Wires turned off their amplifiers.

"Where did I put that effin' Boson?"

Dateline 10/03/10

Percussionist Papped at Prince

Enigmatic Bare Wires drummer, Ian Sheldon, long the target of Fleet Street snappers, was finally caught on camera by top lensperson Angela Nicholson of Amateur Photographer. At a recent gig at the Prince of Wales, Caversham, state-of-the-art digital technology was employed in order to capture the tub thumper in full flight. A combination of high ISO rating and cutting edge time-lapse techniques has now proved, once and for all, that Ian's left hand does, in fact, move during AC/DC numbers. The spectacular results now adorn the front cover of the Saturday, 6 March edition of AP. When I say front cover, it is actually page 46, but it's the thought that counts.

We're back at the Monument at the end of the month with an earfull of tunes they haven't heard us do yet. Intruiged? Well, you know what to do...

Photo by top lensperson Dianne Sykes

Dateline 05/02/10

Fab February

Deep in the heart of Hampshire, along miles of winding country roads, some of which don’t even have white lines down the middle, lies the Operations Centre of a blues / rock phenomenon. To the casual observer, it looks a bit like the Village Hall, but behind the vertical blinds and the heavy drapes, close to the kitchen and handily placed for the toilets, you will find the Bare Wires Research and Development Lab. This is where your heroes toil late into the night perfecting arrangements, honing their stagecraft, twiddling knobs and crafting delicate sonic landscapes, in order to create the best possible audience experience. The Lab also acts as a Think Tank and Forum for wide-ranging topical discussions covering subjects such as Climate Change, Carbon Footprint targets, Investment Strategies and whether or not Frank Zappa’s facility with a wah-wah pedal was equal to that of Jimi Hendrix. (It was.)

“What does all this mean to me?” I hear you cry. Well, you can find out by seeing the band in action at the Prince of Wales in Caversham on Saturday 13th February. You can also see them at The Dolphin in Newbury on Friday, February 19th. Catch you later.

Dateline 19/01/10

New Year, New Stuff

Hi there, boys and girls. As you wend your way gingerly across the frozen tundra that we once knew as the Home Counties, what awaits you in that cosy hostelry conveniently postioned in the High Street? Well for a start it may be Bare Wires, who spare no expense to bring you proper rock in your local.

Last week saw our first gig of the year at the Monument in Newbury, an occasion which also saw the debut of Jonathon's small, but perfectly formed, Blackstar. Tone hounds watch this space for further reports on this bijou, British amp.

Various new dates have been arranged for the new year and these can be found on the Gigs page. Next up is a return to the Prince of Wales in Caversham, Reading on 13 February.

Dateline 01/12/09

Christmas Crackers

Last week, returning from another vigorous practice session, my ears still ringing from having played Sweet Child of Mine six times, my car’s information system informed me, for the first time this winter, that there was a ‘Low External Temperature’. I’m never sure what I’m supposed to do about this, but I thought this was a reminder that - Christmas is on its way!
It’s the time of year when there are lots of decisions to be made. You have to decide whether you fancy a large bird on the kitchen table, or maybe a goose, or perhaps something to eat. There are lots of other decisions to be made – Does one send cards, or put an announcement in the London Times, saying that you are not sending cards? Is the Fortnums hamper preferable to the Harrods version? Shall it be glühwein and skiing in Klosters, or rum punches whilst cruising the Caribbean? It’s so difficult isn’t it?
On the other hand, you might find yourself round the in-laws, huddling round the plasma TV for warmth, watching this year’s I’m A Celebrity in the Strictly X-Factor Big House On Ice spectacular, pretending that you like your new jumper, whilst trying not to spill bubble and squeak and Piccalilli down it. Aaah, the traditional British Christmas can’t be beaten.
On the music front, we can look forward to the annual battle for Yuletide chart supremacy. Unfortunately, there is no Bare Wires Christmas single this year, so we are left with Rolf Harris and Staus Quo versus the Eraserhead clones from ITV. Another tricky decision. You decide and have a goodun’. Hootenanny!

Thanks to all those that have listened and enjoyed hearing us play over the last year, our next task is to get those that didn’t, onboard! New gigs are being arranged as we speak and details will be released as soon as possible. On 15th May 2010 we will be appearing at the Station Hotel in Andover, but for those of you that can’t wait that long, there is the 4th Annual Rock Jam Night - Saturday 9th Jan 2010, at the same venue. Bare Wires hope to be strongly represented at the event.

Dateline 17/10/09

Rocktober In Berkshire

They don’t call this month ‘Rocktober’ for nothing and to prove it Bare Wires are appearing in a pub near you (if you live in Reading or Newbury) very soon.
Last Friday (16th) the band played at one of their favourite venues, what used to be called the Tap ‘n Spile. In fact, before that it was called the Monument and that, following a makeover, is what it is called once more. I hope that’s clear. So, the Monument welcomed us again and will welcome us in the future as several new gigs were offered. Details will be published when finalised. We can also report that the Butt’s Bitter was particularly fine that night. It’s a shame that beer no longer cost’s the price offered in the old adverts that decorate the pub walls – 1 shilling a gallon, delivery included!
Next Friday (23rd October) we debut at the Prince of Wales in Caversham, Reading, a pub which has been serving the local populace for over one hundred years. It was recently taken over by Nick, a real music fan, and deserves your support. See you there.
If that wasn’t enough, we also play the Dolphin at Newbury, on the following Friday. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

Dateline 09/09/09

Slings and Arrows

There was, apparently, another complaint about noise during a recent gig at the White Hart, Bishopstone. Bare Wires were told later, that a lady had been unhappy about the volume levels suffered during the outdoor concert. “Why didn’t she go inside?” suggested a member of the band’s entourage. “She was inside.” they were informed.
On another evening a group of chaps, out on the town, wandered into the Dolphin in Newbury, as Bare Wires were whipping up a sonic storm. “This lot look like proper musicians.” They said, despondently, and promptly wandered off.

Dateline 09/08/09

A Tale of Two Taverns

Railway Taverns in Andover and Hungerford were rocked in consecutive weekends when Bare Wires came a callin'. They brought with them light, song, new lights and new songs to dazzle the audience with their mastery of sound and vision. It was not just the audience that was dazzled, as band members were in danger of enforced epileptic fits, due to the frantic nature of the new Revo Sweep LED effect. The French call it 'Son et lumière', still you can't touch 'em for it.

There's always a party in Hungerford when Bare Wires play there. Unfortunately we've yet to be invited, but it does mean that there is a colourful selection of punters in the Tavern, towards the end of the evening. Last time we were there, it was Halloween and we marveled at the Wizards, were all struck by the Ghosts and Nigel reportedly grabbed by the Ghoulies. Be that as it may, full marks to the Sumo Girls, who definitely suffered for their art!

Everybody is welcome at a Bare Wires gig.

Dateline 14/07/09

Hail to the Ale

Last Saturday the boys made their debut at the Weyhill Fair Beer Festival and on the 25th July they make their debut at The Railway Tavern Andover. We normally try to go back to places a second time, if only to apologise!

Details of the Weyhill bash can be found on the Reviews page. For loads of photos of the event, visit Nick Tynan's Flickr set. There are videos available via the Weyhill Fair Beer Festival site. Click here to go there.

F is for 'Fan'

Dateline 21/06/09

Out In the Open

Lower Chute was the place to be yesterday when the village held the annual Chute Fete. The thrills and spills of the Chinook helicopter takeoff, the Morris Dancing, the aircraft fly past and the tense battle of the 'Owner who looks most like it's dog' competition were more than matched by the appearance of Bare Wires at the Hatchet. In the spirit of the day, the band held it's own impromtu competitions during the evening:

Which socket does this go in ?

Whose solo is it now?

What key is this in?

How does this one go?

Answers to be published later.

An enjoyable gig (though a tad parky towards the end) was also distinguished by the guest appearance of Sam Brothers on harmonica. And keyboards. And backing vocals. And shaky thing.

More photos on the Snaps page.

Dateline 28/05/09

Out and About

Having successfully negotiated the traffic lights and roundabouts of Salisbury, to play at the Malmesbury Arms last Saturday, the band’s next public outing is at the Hatchet in Lower Chute on 20th June 2009. If you want to see Morris dancing, then come along in the afternoon to the Chute Fete. If you want to see Ian dancing then go to the Hatchet, but you might have a long wait…

More gigs have flooded in since we last spoke. The Dolphin in Newbury have kindly booked us for the 21st August and the 30th October. In between those on 29th August Bare Wires are pleased to announce their participation in a Beer and Music Festival at the White Hart in Bishopstone. Beer and music flow from 4.30 onwards.

Dateline 17/05/09

Dolphins, Beer & Spiles

Last Friday (15th May) Bare Wires made their debut appearance at the excellent Dolphin Hotel in Newbury. The second of two lively sets finished just after midnight with a rare appearance of ‘Sweet Home Alabama’, a tune dragged kicking and screaming from the back of the band’s repertoire. It had been much requested by the crowd and in the end we couldn’t refuse them. We did however refuse ‘Free Bird’ on the grounds that we don’t know it! It was gone 1 a.m. when we finally dragged the last of the kit out and people were still drinking. It’s all right for some. More photos are on the Snaps page.

More gigs have been added to our itinerary and we are especially pleased to announce our participation in the Weyhill Fair Beer Festival on July 11th. We are appearing on the Saturday with a selection of Andover based bands but the festival starts on the Friday and ends on Sunday and is even bigger and better than before.
”50 Real Ales is a big ask for the lads, but we’ll take each pint as it comes and hopefully reach the final, Brian.” A band spokesman was quoted as saying. Visit the website for further details.

October 16th is another date for your diaries, when we return to the Tap & Spile (formerly the Monument) in Newbury.

Dateline 2/05/09

In the Summertime

Don’t miss the Chute Fete 2009 which takes place at the King George V playing field, Lower Chute on 20th June between 1 and 4 p.m.

And if that wasn’t enough, Bare Wires will be playing at The Hatchet that very same evening. Keep it real at Lower Chute.

Band members get to grips with new accessory

Dateline 28/04/09

Monumental

Don't forget music fans, Bare Wires are appearing live at the Tap & Spile, Northbrook Street, Newbury this Friday 1st May.

Two weeks after that (15th) we are playing at the Dolphin in Newbury.

If that wasn't enough, the Malmesbury Arms hosts the band as part of the Salisbury Festival on 23rd May.

Dateline 19/04/09

May Mayhem

Following the Easter break, we are pleased to report that Bare Wires will shortly be passing amongst you spreading the gospel according to St. Eric.
Or Robert Johnson, if you're being picky.

The month of May contains not one, not two, but three gigs. See Gigs for details.

Dateline 01/04/09

Wires Out West

The music business has, this week, been left breathless following the announcement of an official rumour - Bare Wires at Glastonbury! The band's management have been unavailable for comment, but sources close to the group suggest that only a few contractual niceties need to be resolved.
Shephard has waived the necessity to procure a Persian carpet to stand on, Sheldon no longer insists on a drum stool covered in Rolls-Royce grade cowhide, to sit on. In a dramatic move, Mills no longer requires a Ming dynasty pot to spit in. Negotiations with a well-known Belgian brewery, concerning the limited edition Brothers' Blue Lager, are nearing conclusion. The strap line "Trappiste as a Monk" needs some work, apparently.

Festival organisers are apparently keen to get back to their roots and with the success of acts such as Seasick Steve, Fleet Foxes and the Kings of Leon, music of a less 'produced' nature is back in fashion. A spokesman observed "They say nostalgia isn't what it used to be, but we think different. Bare Wires are playing the sort of music a festival crowd want to hear."

Dateline 02/03/09

Wires On YouTube

Yes folks, they said it couldn't happen. Many hoped it couldn't happen. But, it's happened!

The first three of a series of amusing (hopefully) vignettes, exhorting you to see the band live. If a picture is worth a thousand words, cop this:

Bare Wires on You Tube

Dateline 14/02/09

The Latest

Despite the ravages of the current recession, Bare Wires are soldiering on valiantly. What the world needs is a good rock band of a Saturday (or Friday or Thursday) night, something to look forward to, instead of lobbing pointy things at a bit of cork. Or prodding balls with a stick. There are new gigs listed on the Gigs page, including one that forms part of the Salisbury Festival, being held in the last week of May.

For those of you that can’t wait that long, the band are currently working on their first video. The locations are being researched, the Production Suite refurbished, storyboards sketched out and we hope to bring you a state-of-the-art, audio-visual, interactive experience. Imagine four blokes, stood in a room, riffing out. Ooops, I’ve given the plot away!

With years of experience behind them, the members of Bare Wires are often asked what advice they would give to young musicians. “Go away!” is the usual answer, but we’ve decided to pool our knowledge and offer some pearls of wisdom via our FAQ page. Go have a look – it just might help.

Dateline 18/01/09

The Camera Doesn't Lie

Many thanks to all those that braved the gale force winds and driving rain, to come and see us at the Angel in Andover last night.

A fine set of photos of the gig can be found at Nick Tynan's Flickr photostream. Cheers Nick, glad you enjoyed the session.

Dateline 11/01/09

On The Road Again

Hi there pop pickers! We trust all your New Year resolutions are already broken, forgotten and consigned to the back of the sock drawer for another twelve months. A quick visit to the Gigs page will reveal a number of recitals already lined up for 2009.

New songs, new jokes, new shirt, the band are appearing at the Angel, in Andover this coming Saturday. Are you ready to rock?

Dateline 21/12/08

Who’s Who?

Speculation in the media has been rife, over who will replace David Tennant as Doctor Who. The 37-year-old star announced he would be leaving the series after next year's specials. Members of the Bare Wires classic rock, cabaret and show band have been linked to the job. Here are their credentials:

37-year-old Ian Sheldon, the boffin in the band with multiple degrees in electronics, has been known to compromise the fabric of the space-time continuum. With a bit more practice though, he hopes to conquer I’m Goin’ Down, before our next public appearance.

37-year-old Nigel Mills - his way with a Sonic Screwdriver (or Telecaster as he calls it) is the stuff of legend round Andover. Computers and technology hold no fear for him. As long as he doesn’t have to hear them.

37-year-old Jonathon Brothers with his charismatic stage presence, boyish charm and radio- friendly good looks would seem a natural for the role. His van has, apparently, Tardis-like inner proportions.

37-year-old Dave Shephard, sci-fi buff, gadget freak and devotee of anything with a flashing light on it, especially if it makes a stupid noise as well, would bring a sense of child-like wonder to any techno heavy production.

They have all revealed they would be interested in appearing in the show, according to reports.

Dr Who can be seen on BBC1 at 6pm on Christmas day.

Seasons Greetings!

Dateline 01/12/08

Power to the Wires!

Another interesting gig at the races last weekend, go to Reviews for more details and Snaps for more pictures.

Cold? It's brass monkeys!

Dateline 28/11/08

Bare Things

Newbury Racecourse again this Saturday (29th November). Soon they’ll be providing us with our own stable. Those attending the Hennessy Winter Festival, please do not attempt to feed the members of the band carrots, apples or sugar lumps. They get all the roughage they need from their regular diet of pie, chips and beans. Gates open at 9.30

Our apologies to our regular viewer, for the recent lack of updates. The Bare Wires supercomputer, Deep Thought went pear-shaped for a while and the Help-Desk was on holiday.

The Tap and Spile in Newbury hosted Bare Wires for the first time earlier this month. A small and intimate venue, it soon filled up with gnarled, old, grey haired rockers, wearing leather jackets and heavy metal t-shirts. Then the audience arrived! The band were tucked into an alcove at the front and had to explain that, due to lack of space, their normal choreography wouldn’t be possible. “Ballroom?” Enquired one fan. “None at all.” Replied the guitarist.
The crowd were very responsive and as a result were treated to a set almost as long as a Grateful Dead gig. “You guys are awesome!” yelled one young lady. She can definitely come again. We hope to be back there in February.

Dateline 27/10/08

Stiff Little Fingers

This coming Saturday 1st November sees the band back at The Railway Tavern, Hungerford. Two weeks later on 15th November they debut at the Tap & Spile Newbury. Tell your friends.

Dateline 15/10/08

Please Mr. Postman

Taking a leaf out of another well-known drummer's book, Ian Sheldon has announced that he will be unable to sign autographs in future. The same applies to 'items' sent in for signature. In fact, it is this last aspect that has caused particular distress.

"You never know what's going to arrive each morning. I've had posters, shirts, even underwear. It's the brown ones that are the worst though, those little ones from HM Revenue & Customs. They're gonna be tossed!"

In order to give fans fair warning, Ian has promised that he'll continue for a little while. "But when the first ten are done, that's it. Peace and love, peace and love."

Dateline 05/10/08

Out there

There are some new gigs to stuff into your Blackberry, as Bare Wire continue to expand their catchment area. The Greyhound at Amesbury on 24 October 2008 is to be swiftly followed up by another day at the Newbury races on Saturday 25 October. The Saturday after that, on 1 November 2008 the band return to the Railway Tavern in Hungerford.

Remember, you can always record Strictly Come Dancing...

Dateline 01/10/08

Silver Saturday

The group re-convened last weekend, featuring squad drummer Barry and a host of guest artistes, at a private function deep in the Shires. Visit the Reviews page for an exclusive insight to the lifestyles of the rich and famous.

Go to Snaps - Gallery 1for more pictures.

Dateline 25/9/08

The Leaves Are Fallin'

Which means the band will soon be back from their holidays all fresh, tanned and ready to rock.

Check out the Snaps page for a new photo link with Flickr.

New gigs will be announced a.s.a.p.

Dateline 11/8/08

The Carnival Is Over

Exploiting an unusual and unseasonal gap in the meteorological misery that is the English summer, the Bare Wires Roadshow rolled into Swanage last Friday 8th August.

A fuller account can be found on the Reviews page.

Check out the Sounds page for new recordings.

Dateline 1/8/08

Seven Days 'Til Swanage

Music lovers from the Andover and Reading area have been busy finalising arrangements, buffing up old camping equipment, replenishing the Fortnum’s hamper, ironing their shorts, waxing their waterproofs and their legs, in preparation for the trip to Swanage next Friday. And that’s just the band.

Intensive rehearsals continue on Tuesday, which will give Barnacle Bill another chance to complain about the noise! Despite this, no knob will remain un-tweaked in our pursuit of aural gratification and yes listeners, there may be a sonic surprise awaiting you.

Fearful of the blazing Dorset sunshine, drummer Ian has searched out his trusty tropical sun hat, much to the embarrassment of his good lady wife. “Are you taking the pith?” she enquired. “No, I’m deadly serious!” he replied.

Bare Wires will be on the Main Stage, on the Seafront at Swanage, between 8.00 – 9.30 p.m.

Swanage Regatta and Carnival

Dateline 16/7/08

The Mills Are Alive...

Before they head off into deepest Dorset, Bare Wires will be appearing at the Town Mills, Andover this coming Friday 18th July. Why not join the band for a convivial evening of blues, rock and booze?

Go on, you know you want to!

Dateline 8/7/08

Bare Wires Beside The Seaside

And now for something completely different. Yes pop-pickers, the boys have been asked to step in at the last moment at the second week of musical happenings running on after the Swanage Regatta and Carnival. Week Two is not part of the carnival, but run in conjunction with Swanage Lights and Swanage Sea Rowing Club. The band usually content themselves with making up solos, set lists and jokes, so making up the numbers is a big step forward.

As we speak, the guys are buffing up their deck shoes and applying the Factor 15 in readiness for their appearance on the main stage. Friday 8th August is the day, 8.30 is the time and Swanage is the place to be.

Dateline 21/6/08

Tonight!

"Summer solstice?" "No thanks, I've just had a pizza." said the bass player. Be that as it may, today is the the longest day of the year. To help pass the time, why not pop down to the Angel in Andover to watch Bare Wires perform live. It's either that or the Two Ronnies on the telly.

Address: 95, High St, Andover, Hampshire, SP10 1ND

Tel: 01264 352086

See you there

Dateline 12/6/08

Wired For Sound

The peace and tranquillity of an idyllic Hampshire village was rent asunder last week, when the band’s Tuesday night practise session got out of control. The first sign of trouble came when a gratuitous bass solo was insinuated into the end of Sweet Home Chicago. The Bare Wires production office was shocked when a complaint flooded in, not from a music lover, but a nearby resident, Barnacle Bill, the sailor, who objected to what he regarded as the high decibel level emanating from the village hall. A local official had the unenviable task of informing the group, during the blessed relief between numbers. Despite the fact that, in the sweltering heat, the Wires had selflessly kept all the doors and windows shut, their output was described as “quite loud”.

After a lengthy discussion it was agreed, between band and the authorities, that closing the curtains might dampen the sound down a bit. A further benefit to the beleaguered villagers was that the fiendish lighting experiments would no longer be visible. A spokesman for the band was later quoted as saying “I bet it was that miserable $%£^&*( across the road, he’ll moan about anything, he’s a right *&^%, he wants to get a +_)(*&* life the old !£$”%%^ %$£^ &££”$%£.” The vicar was then led off to a nearby hostelry.